Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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