Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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