He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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