Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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