You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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