There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I enjoy the company of your penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
