my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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