Rock
Scissors
Fuck
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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