oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
try to milk me bitch
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