Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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