Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Damn victory sex feels great
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize