if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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