Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
