Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
