I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize