end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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