I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize