Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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