Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My ass is underappreciated
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize