i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
