all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
