Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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