Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
