in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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