I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
