fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i drank out of a bidet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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