just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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