My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
