Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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