What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
