I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
