Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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