I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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