Dual....:-)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
