Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
