Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize