You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
