Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
this must be what syphilis tastes like
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
