who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
