): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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