My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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