im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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