VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
