Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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