My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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