I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize