is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
