I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
