Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
