i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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