Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
zippers are such a cool invention
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
