he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
