I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
