yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
