Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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