Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
