Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
