lets start a swedish sibling band together
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How's work?
Spinning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
