so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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