Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
