Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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