I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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