I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize