I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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