you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
