When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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