You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
