You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pop tarts are not kleenex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
