Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize