i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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