yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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